var ad=new Array()
ad[0]="&quot;In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly dog.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Edward Hoagland";
ad[1]="&quot;In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him &amp; a cat that will ignore him.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;- Derek Bruce";
ad[2]="&quot;A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;-Robert Benchley";
ad[3]="&quot;Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;- Sydney Jeanne Seward";
ad[4]="&quot;Wherever you go, there you are.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;- Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)"
ad[5]="&quot;I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; (variously attributed to W. C. Fields, Tom Waits, and most commonly Dorothy Parker but most likely Dr. Randy Hanzlick)"
ad[6]="&quot;In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut"
ad[7]="&quot;Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Vernon Law"
ad[8]="&quot;Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Lazarus Long (Robert A. Heinlein)"
ad[9]="&quot;Every man gets a narrower and narrower field of knowledge in which he must be an expert in order to compete with other people. The specialist knows more and more about less and less and finally knows everything about nothing.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Konrad Lorenz"
ad[10]="&quot;Three curses of increasing severity:<br>May you live in interesting times.<br>May you come to the attention of those in authority.<br>May you find what you are looking for.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Unknown"
ad[11]="&quot;Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Albert Einstein"
ad[12]="&quot;The only source of knowledge is experience.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Albert Einstein"
ad[13]="&quot;My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Emo Philips"
ad[14]="&quot;Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Don Marquis"
ad[15]="&quot;Never wear anything that panics the cat.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - P. J. O'Rourke"
ad[16]="&quot;The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - P. J. O'Rourke"
ad[17]="&quot;Iraq is just like Vietnam,,, the fightin's over there,,, and George is here.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - soldier who's been there"
ad[18]="&quot;Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Anonymous [NOT Benjamin Franklin! - Richard Jackson maybe]"
ad[19]="&quot;All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Thomas Huxley"
ad[20]="&quot;What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Ralph Waldo Emerson"
ad[21]="&quot;We have no king to establish the King's English; we only have the President's English, which we don't want.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. Zinsser"
ad[22]="&quot;Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Maurice Chevalier"
ad[23]="&quot;During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Orwell"
ad[24]="&quot;A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Herm Albright"
ad[25]="&quot;It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Abraham Lincoln"
ad[26]="&quot;We are so concerned to flatter the majority that we lose sight of how very often it is necessary, in order to preserve freedom for the minority, let alone for the individual, to face that majority down.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - William F. Buckley, Jr."
ad[27]="&quot;All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - H. L. Mencken"
ad[28]="&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Matt Lauer, on NBC's &quot;Today&quot; show, August 22, 1996"
ad[29]="&quot;In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Roger Allen"
ad[30]="&quot;I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Tom Stoppard"
ad[31]="&quot;Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Groucho Marx"
ad[32]="&quot;Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Carlin"
ad[33]="&quot;Divide each of the difficulties under examination into as many parts as possible, and as might be necessary for its adequate solution.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Rene Descartes "
ad[34]="&quot;What luck for rulers that men do not think.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Adolf Hitler"
ad[35]="&quot;Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Ogden Nash"
ad[36]="&quot;I wish people could acheive what they think would bring them happiness in order for them to realize that that's not what happiness really is.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Alanis Morisette"
ad[37]="&quot;When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Alexander Graham Bell"
ad[38]="&quot;What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Eliot"
ad[39]="&quot;While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Ben Franklin"
ad[40]="&quot;Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert Browning"
ad[41]="&quot;Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - John Lennon"
ad[42]="&quot;Of all the Things I've ever Lost, I miss my Mind the most.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Ozzy Ozbourne"
ad[43]="&quot;It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Richard Jeni"
ad[44]="&quot;Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.&quot; <br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Santayana"
ad[45]="&quot;The Difficult is that which can be done immediately; the Impossible that which takes a little longer.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Santayana"
ad[46]="&quot;Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.&quot; <br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Wernher Von Braun"
ad[47]="&quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Niels Bohr"
ad[48]="&quot;I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Woody Allen"
ad[49]="&quot;The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Bill Cosby" 
ad[50]="&quot;Recession is when a neighbour loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Ronald Reagan"
ad[51]="&quot;He has the most who is most content with the least.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Diogenes"
ad[52]="&quot;I know nothing, except the fact of my ignorance.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Diogenes"
ad[53]="&quot;Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Stephen Leacock"
ad[54]="&quot;Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Mark Leeper"
ad[55]="&quot;Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Thomas Jefferson"
ad[56]="&quot;Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Alan Dundes"
ad[57]="&quot;If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Screaming Lord Sutch"
ad[58]="&quot;The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Albert Einstein"
ad[59]="&quot;In a state where corruption abounds, laws must be very numerous.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Tacitus"
ad[60]="&quot;We see many who are struggling against adversity who are happy, and more although abounding in wealth, who are wretched.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Tacitus"
ad[61]="&quot;Of all possessions a friend is the most precious.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Herodotus"
ad[62]="&quot;Of all men's miseries the bitterest is this: to know so much and to have control over nothing.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Herodotus"
ad[63]="&quot;In peace, sons bury their fathers. In war, fathers bury their sons.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Herodotus"
ad[64]="&quot;If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Herodotus"
ad[65]="&quot;Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert Bulwer-Lytton"
ad[66]="&quot;Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Dale Carnegie"
ad[67]="&quot;Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - James Thurber"
ad[68]="&quot;After all is said and done, more is said than done.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Aesop"
ad[69]="&quot;The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by Homo Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[70]="&quot;Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[71]="&quot;Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[72]="&quot;Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[73]="&quot;The most hopelessly stupid man is he who is not aware that he is wise.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[74]="&quot;In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[75]="&quot;Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[76]="&quot;Life is a journey, but don't worry, you'll find a parking spot at the end.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[77]="&quot;I believe that only scientists can understand the universe. It is not so much that I have confidence in scientists being right, but that I have so much in nonscientists being wrong.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[78]="&quot;If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[79]="&quot;The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny ...'&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[80]="&quot;The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[81]="&quot;The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[82]="&quot;Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[83]="&quot;True literacy is becoming an arcane art and the United States is steadily dumbing down.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"
ad[84]="&quot;I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Isaac Asimov"

ad[85]="&quot;You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[86]="&quot;An armed society is a polite society.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[87]="&quot;Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[88]="&quot;The capacity of the human mind for swallowing nonsense and spewing it forth in violent and repressive action has never yet been plumbed.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[89]="&quot;I would say that my position is not too far from that of Ayn Rand's; that I would like to see government reduced to no more than internal police and courts, external armed forces - with the other matters handled otherwise. I'm sick of the way the government sticks its nose into everything, now. &quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[90]="&quot;Age is not an accomplishment, and youth is not a sin.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[91]="&quotA committee is the only known form of life with a hundred bellies and no brain.;&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[92]="&quot;Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[93]="&quot;Logic is a feeble reed, friend. 'Logic' proved that airplanes can't fly and that H-bombs won't work and that stones don't fall out of the sky. Logic is a way of saying that anything which didn't happen yesterday won't happen tomorrow.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[94]="&quot;I will accept the rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[95]="&quot;Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[96]="&quot;A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[97]="&quot;A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[98]="&quot;Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[99]="&quot;Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[100]="&quot;Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[101]="&quot;Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool.)&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[102]="&quot;Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[103]="&quot;Early rising may not be a vice … but it is certainly no virtue. The old saw about the early bird just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[104]="&quot;If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[105]="&quot;Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[106]="&quot;Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Robert A. Heinlein"
ad[107]="&quot;Whom the gods notice they destroy. Be small...and you will escape the jealousy of the great.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Philip K. Dick"
ad[108]="&quot;Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Philip K. Dick"
ad[109]="&quot;Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Groucho Marx"
ad[110]="&quot;Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Groucho Marx"
ad[111]="&quot;I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Groucho Marx"
ad[112]="&quot;A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Fred Allen"

ad[113]="&quot;They could be made to accept the most flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was happening.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Orwell"
ad[114]="&quot;Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Orwell"
ad[115]="&quot;The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - George Orwell" 
ad[116]="&quot;They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Joe Walsh '<i>Life's Been Good</i>'"
ad[117]="&quot;A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Michael Pollan"
ad[118]="&quot;Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields" 
ad[119]="&quot;When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields"
ad[120]="&quot;It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields"
ad[121]="&quot;If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields"
ad[122]="&quot;If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields"
ad[123]="&quot;Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - W. C. Fields"
ad[124]="&quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; - Arthur C. Clarke"

ad[125]="&quot;Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.<br>So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; – Unknown"

ad[126]="&quot;I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself king of infinite space, where it not that I have bad dreams...&quot;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; – Hamlet"


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